


You Dream I Have a Different Face

by Rays



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sad, season 4 speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 12:23:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15751602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rays/pseuds/Rays
Summary: Quentin sagged against the wall, taken over with grief as it crashed into him. Hugging himself, he tried to fight off the panic threatening to overtake him as he tried to process it all. He didn’t know what they were going to do with them. They had just been told that in a matter of hours their memories would be altered and replaced with new personalities. They wouldn’t remember magic, their pasts or each other.





	You Dream I Have a Different Face

**Author's Note:**

> So I sat down to write something else and this came out! I hope everyone likes it!
> 
> The title comes from the song: Say Goodbye (I won't even) by Adaline

Julia was the first one they took away. Technically Alice was the first one, but Alice had never been brought to this dungeon as the rest had, so Quentin didn’t count her. He was also still so angry with Alice right now that he didn’t think about her at all. They came for Julia next.

 

When Fogg came with two other nameless men, she must have looked like the easiest target. She was sitting cross-legged by the door of the dank, windowless room they had been locked in with silent tears rolling down her face. Quentin and Penny had tried talking to her, but she didn’t answer them back. She had said she was disconnected and Quentin could see that in her eyes. When Fogg took her arm she stood without a fight only breaking out of her spell when Penny charged forward to stop them.

 

“I’m not her Penny,” She reminded him, her voice strong and she placed a hand on his chest. “It’s all over anyway.” She looked at Quentin next and smiled what would probably be the last smile he ever saw from her, then she nodded to Fogg and was gone.

 

Quentin sagged against the wall, taken over with grief as it crashed into him. Hugging himself he tried to fight off the panic threatening to overtake him as he tried to process it all. He didn’t know what they were going to do with them. They had just been told that in a matter of hours their memories would be altered and replaced with new personalities. They wouldn’t remember magic, their pasts or each other.

 

Kady and Penny had moved to sit together in a corner. They seemed awkward with each other, both seeking comfort and both unsure how to give it. They sat side by side; their hands splayed out on the ground with their fingers touching slightly. Penny would glance to Kady before looking away and she would quickly do the same. They never seemed to catch each other’s eye though, always just missing each other.

 

Eliot and Margo were huddled together towards the back of the room. Margo buried herself in Eliot’s chest, crying softly and every so often screaming out her frustrations. Eliot held her close, nodding along and agreeing with all her outbursts. He looked at Quentin across the room, his eyes showing the pain he was feeling. He seemed conflicted between wanting to stay with Margo and coming to Quentin to comfort him. Quentin somehow managed to smile at him, hoping to reassure him that it was okay to stay with Margo and that he understood. Eliot nodded to him and then buried his face into Margo's hair as he started to cry.

 

“This is really fucked up,” Josh said sitting down next to Quentin. “Royally fucked up.” Quentin didn’t say anything, but he nodded. Josh reached over and squeezed his knee and Quentin finally looked over at the other man. His glasses slid down his nose, his face wet with sweat and possibly tears. “We tried. At least we fucking tried.” Quentin wondered if that was true, or if it mattered now, but he nodded. Josh was at least trying right now, trying to make them sound nobler than he felt they were.

 

“We tried.” He whispered and Josh smiled. Their conversation ended when Fogg came back. Even though Quentin knew Julia wouldn’t be with him, his stomach still clenched when she didn’t return. Fogg took a step into the room and before he could even look at anyone, Josh stood up and made his way over.

 

“I’ll go next,” he said. “Might as well get it over with, right?” he gave one last try at cheerful that fell a little flat, but Quentin was impressed by the attempt. No one said anything as Josh popped the collar on his coat up and then walked out with Fogg, showing bravery that Quentin often forgot he possessed.

 

Quentin joined Eliot and Margo after that. Eliot wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close. He buried his face in Eliot’s neck and breathed him in. He wanted to freeze this moment and stay in Eliot’s safe embrace for the rest of his life. Maybe he could somehow convince Fogg just to let them stay locked here instead of where ever they were going. If he could stay with Eliot, whatever hell they had planned would be bearable.

 

Margo took his hand across Eliot’s chest and he opened his eyes to see her watching him. It still surprised him to see her with two eyes again; he had gotten so used to the eye patches. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and her lip trembled as she clutched his hand. Quentin smiled and reached over to wipe the tears from her face. He knew it could be cruel of him, but he loved seeing Margo like this. Vulnerable with her true emotions laid bare for the world to see. She was so beautiful and complex that Quentin felt that even a lifetime with her would never unlock every secret she kept close to her heart.

 

“Q,” She said through her tears. “What do we do?” Eliot kissed her head and pulled both of them closer to him.

 

“I don’t think we do anything,” Quentin admitted. “I think this is it.” Margo closed her eyes and Quentin’s heart actually clenched, afraid if she kept them closed he would never look into them again. When she finally did open them, she looked as if she was going to say something, but the door opening interrupted whatever she had planned.

 

They all watched as Fogg walked into the room and made his way to the three huddled in the back. Eliot held Quentin and Margo tighter, his face darkening almost daring Fogg to take one of them away from him. Fogg did just that. He took Margo by the arm and unlike Julia and Josh, she fought back.

 

“No!” She screamed and he pulled her to her feet. “I’m the fucking High King of Fillory, you son of a bitch!” Fogg didn’t seem to care, neither did the men with him as they rushed over to help.

 

“Let her go!” Eliot shouted, standing and reaching out to try to grab her back. She frantically reached out her hand to him which he caught.

 

“Mr. Waugh,” Fogg said placing his hand on top both of theirs. “Things could go smoothly for everyone or they cannot. Your cooperation in all this will determine that very fact, so I suggest you place that under your consideration as you choose to go forward.

 

“Eliot,” Quentin whispered, standing quickly he clutched at Eliot’s arm. They couldn’t make this worse for themselves, and if they were being taken this quickly, then their time together was running out. Selfishly, Quentin wanted every second he could have with Eliot. He looked at Margo, guilt almost swallowing him whole, but he pushed it aside and just clung to Eliot tighter.

 

With almost an inhuman cry, Eliot let go of Margo’s hand and collapsed back against the wall. Margo’s eyes widened, for a moment all the fight in her seemed to be sucked out and her face shown with a mix of betrayal and acceptance at the same time.

 

“I’m sorry,” Eliot sobbed and she nodded. Then the two men with Fogg started to pull her away. True to form, Margo didn’t seem to care about Fogg’s threat because she fought all the way out the door. Eliot buried his face in his hands and slid down to the ground. Quentin knelt down next to him and wrapped his arms around him. Neither spoke and Quentin just rocked them, Eliot’s sobs the only sound in the almost empty room.

 

When Fogg came back, he went towards Kady and Penny next. Penny stood and offered himself up with no fight. Kady watched, unease pouring out of her. Penny smiled at her but didn’t offer any words of comfort or even a goodbye. Kady’s face was a kaleidoscope of emotions as she watched another Penny, maybe not _her Penny_ , walk out of her life and disappear most likely forever.

 

Kady joined Quentin and Eliot after that. She sat next to them, giving just a little space but she sat close enough to give away that she needed to be near someone too. Even badass Kady needed comfort at this moment. Quentin looked at his last two companions and he almost laughed.  He remembered the night Kady broke the door down at the cottage and the three had drunk wine together till nearly dawn. Eliot had confessed to him once that he was still mad at Kady for cockblocking him that night. Quentin wished with everything he had to be transported back to that moment. Back when they could just drink all night and complain about their problems like the twenty-somethings they were supposed to be.

 

Fogg came back and made his way to the remaining three. He stopped in front of Eliot and Quentin felt like his insides were being ripped out of his body. Ignoring everything Fogg had threatened less than ten minutes ago, he threw his arms around Eliot with a cry. They weren’t taking him; he wasn’t going to lose Eliot yet. He was ready to fight for every last second he could have with Eliot, but Kady stood instead.

 

“Take me,” She said moving to stand in front of them. “Just fucking take me.” Fogg nodded and Kady looked down at them one last time. Quentin felt grateful and ashamed at the same time, but he mouthed _thank you_ anyway. The echo of the door closing behind them seemed louder now that it was just the two of them, but Quentin felt relieved to have Eliot within his reach still and he let himself not worry about their friends anymore.

 

“Do you think that potion is starting to work?” Eliot asked, his voice breathy with a hint of panic.

 

“I don’t know.” Quentin croaked laying his cheek against Eliot’s chest, a wave of exhaustion taking over. “Maybe.” Eliot’s fingers started threading through his hair and Quentin could practically feel Eliot’s unease. He sat up, fighting off his protesting body and kissed Eliot, his hand cupped behind his ear to pull him closer. Eliot wrapped his hands around Quentin’s face and deepened the kiss. Quentin felt the cold room melt away; the panic washed away as the feel of Eliot against him was more powerful than the fear in this moment. Pulling back Eliot fisted the front of Quentin's shirt, holding on like any second Fogg would drag him away next and Eliot would just get pulled along as well.

 

“You know, I can’t remember the last thing I ate,” Eliot chuckled, but he was shaking all over. Quentin held onto Eliot’s face, his world felt shaky now but if he could just focus on Eliot’s face he felt like he was on more solid ground. “But, I still remember Rupert’s laugh.” Tears dripped down Eliot’s face and Quentin felt like he might throw up.

 

“El,” he said weakly.

 

“Remember how he used to laugh in his sleep?” Eliot let his head fall back against the wall and he shook his head. “God, he was a really happy kid wasn’t he?” Quentin’s whole body trembled and he didn’t know if it was the potion doing its job or if the realization that his memories of his son would soon be gone but Quentin was suddenly angry. Instead of focusing on Rupert, he dipped into the anger he still felt at Eliot shooting the monster and being the first thing that had gone wrong in their attempt to restore magic.

 

“Why did you do it El?” he snapped. “Why did you shoot it?” Quentin knew why, of course, he knew why, but it was easier to be angry at this than it was to miss his son. Eliot didn’t say anything for a moment then he smiled.

 

“Remember when he tried to cook us dinner?”

 

“Eliot!” Quentin said his voice rising. “Why the hell did you do that? Have any of us learned a fucking thing? Don’t do something stupid if you don’t know what the consequence is going to be!”

 

Quentin knew what he was getting into when they entered the prison. He accepted it and was ready to do his time. He had killed Ember and turned off magic for everyone. He was also the one who had sacrificed his own father to death to do this, he felt in a way he deserved this. Besides, he had gotten a lifetime with the person he loved. He had memories of a lifetime to keep him company as he did his time and that was more than he could ask.

 

“The consequences don’t really matter now do they?” Eliot asked, his eyes narrowing slightly.

 

“Eliot it was still-”

 

“Quentin!” Eliot interrupted him. “We may only have minutes left with each other. We do not have time to fight about this because we are really good at dragging these kinds of things out.”

 

“But-” Quentin tried again.

 

“No,” Eliot took Quentin’s face in his hands. “Soon we are going to forget each other and everything we’ve been through. We’re going to forget Arielle and Rupert and everyone we loved.” Quentin felt his body began to shake again and he shut his eyes against the dizzy feeling he got as he tried to picture their life and to his horror found it fading.

 

“So talk to me about our son Q,” Eliot pleaded. “If this is going to be the last time we are together, I want to talk about Rupert.” Quentin nodded, he took Eliot’s hands off his face and held their hands in his lap.

 

“Remember when you taught him how to tie a tie?” he asked and Eliot smiled. “He was thirteen and you stood next to him in the mirror and you went step by step together.” Quentin could still see them standing side by side, Rupert’s face serious in concentration. “He was blessed with my bumbling genes, so he struggled with it, but you were so patient with him, so calm.” Eliot let his forehead rest against Quentin's and he shut his eyes.

 

“Thank you for making me a father.” He said. A new wave of panic hit Quentin then. Eliot was saying goodbye and Quentin wasn’t ready for that, not yet.

 

“No, El,” he said pulling back. Eliot opened his eyes with a sigh.

 

“Q, we have to be-” He stopped talking suddenly and his eyes went up to something over Quentin’s shoulder. Turning his head, Quentin jumped back in shock. Ora stood there as if she’d appeared out of nowhere. For a moment Quentin felt like they were saved. As if Ora was some authority that went over Fogg and even the Library’s jurisdiction. That feeling only lasted a moment though before something in her eyes seemed to flash and she smiled in an almost childish manner.

 

“Quentin!” She chirped. “You were going to show me a card trick?” Quentin and Eliot stood at the same time, grabbing at each other and quickly backing away. Eliot hadn’t killed the monster it seemed and maybe those consequences would catch up with them after all.

 

“What-how?” Quentin stammered and the Monster followed, with a skip to its step even. The expression on its face darkened when it looked at Eliot.

 

“You tried to hurt me.” It said crossing its arms. Quentin looked at Eliot who just stared wide-eyed back. “You need to go away.” The Monster held up a finger and Eliot shut his eyes.

 

“No!” Quentin screamed and rushed over to the monster. “Stop, please stop! I’ll do a card trick; I’ll do anything you want me to okay, just please don’t hurt him.” The Monster turned its attention back to Quentin and smiled.

 

“Quentin!” Eliot hissed.

 

“No,” Quentin said quickly holding his hand up. “You stay out of this.” he turned back to the monster and pulled out the deck of cards he had. Maybe he could distract it long enough for Fogg to get back. Maybe seeing that they had this to deal with would stop this whole thing before anyone's memories were permanently gone.

 

“I like you, Quentin!” The Monster said smiling. “I won’t kill him.” Quentin almost fell to his knees in relief and he smiled despite everything. “But he still needs to go away.” Before Quentin could say anything, the Monster was suddenly at Eliot’s side and grabbed onto his arm.

 

“Wait!” Quentin yelled but the Monster just held up his hand and suddenly Quentin was sliding across the floor and came to a stop against the wall on the other side of the room. Frantically he stood and found Eliot standing alone. Scrambling over to him, he looked Eliot up and down and was relieved to see he seemed unharmed.

 

“Are you okay?” Quentin asked. “Where did it go?” Eliot didn’t say anything but he smiled and Quentin felt his blood run cold.

 

“I like this one!” Eliot’s voice came out but it wasn’t him and Quentin shook his head and started to back away. “It’s very tall.” It stood up on its tiptoes as if to see how much taller it could get.

 

“No,” Quentin moaned and he tumbled to his knees. Any strength he had left seemed to be rushing out of him. He didn’t know if it was the potion or the realization that he had lost Eliot, again, that brought him to his knees but he was finally ready to give into the darkness that had been following him his entire life.

 

“We should play hide-and-seek!” Quentin could barely hold his head up; he didn’t want to look anyway. He didn’t want to see the way that thing moving Eliot’s body about or hearing that voice that sounded like Eliot but was so different as well. The sound of the door opening should have brought him some hope, that maybe Fogg could figure this out, but Quentin didn’t think he was capable of hope anymore. He looked back up at the monster, his vision starting to get foggy. The Monster brought Eliot’s finger up to his mouth in a signal to stay quiet. Everything started to spin and Quentin didn’t think he would be able to talk if he wanted too.

 

“Come on Quentin,” Fogg sounded far away and he vaguely felt arms lift him. “The potion seems to be taking longer with Eliot.” Fogg was saying to someone. “He should be out, why is he just standing there?” Quentin knew he needed to warn them, explain that wasn’t Eliot, but he couldn’t find the words.

 

“Eliot,” It was all he could say. “Eliot!” For a moment, Fogg’s eyes, healed by Julia, fought through the haze of the potion and his grief and almost looked warm.

 

“You are all going to be okay Quentin,” he told him. “I did the best I could.” Quentin shook his head but he could no longer talk and soon he didn’t remember why he needed too.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
